Admit it: Everyone at one point in his or her life wished that they held a nice big flamethrower in their hands. The swine who cut in line, the guy who keyed your Malibu, the ex’s clothes in your closet… in our heart of hearts, we know that they deserve the flame.

Enter Bob Hofmann and the Bonefire, the “next generation of fire flaunting devices.” Available for public purchase now, the Bonefires are handcrafted, personal recreational flamethrowers ranging from 48” to 74” inches long (you know full well which model we recommend). Built out of polished aluminum, brass, and stainless steel, these devices are actually really cool-looking, like some sort of fantastic steampunk contraption. They run on propane so you can fill them up at your local gas station, which means you can avoid the hassle of tracking down napalm.

And now for the fun: you can control the flame, and depending on your technique, you can generate small bursts, smoke rings, or even “rattle some windows and possible your neighbors” with a 20-foot blast of fire. And while our lawyers would never let us advocate using the Bonefire in the situations mentioned above, Hofmann has some excellent suggestions on his website (one such gem: “A great ceremonial torch that could add a new dimension to your next wedding…”).

The seventy-four-inch version is a steal at $1,150 and since it “still fits in the mini-van with no problem” (once again in Hofmann’s own eloquent words), it’s sure to keep the home fires burning.

This post is tagged flamethrower, gadget